My name is Morgan, and I am a creeper.

Ahem, my name is Morgan, and I am a RECOVERING creeper.

Let me clarify...again (third time's a charm), my name is Morgan, and I am a recovering fb creeper.

I remember the day it began, sitting in my Sandoz dorm room with my friends, eating our easy mac and wondering "what is this facebook site?".  That was in 2004, which seems SO long ago.  I was an fb creeper in all senses of the word. I creeped on pictures, about me sections, status updates, who was friends with who, and definitely clicked "wall-to-wall" about a bajillion times a day. I hate spelling errors. Is it bajillion or bagillion? They both have the little red squiggly line that means "Morgan,  you idiot, that isn't how you spell that! FIX IT!" Hmm.... let's allow both spellings for the sake of this post.

I creeped (ps creeped isn't a word either..hmmmm get with it spell checker!) on friends, I creeped on friends of friends, I creeped on the guy who sat three rows in front of me in classes - and usually I'd add him b/c we saw each other every MWF at 9:30 for 50 minutes, which made us friends... right? Ha. Depends who you ask.  One of my friends would tell you this made me a "friend whore".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friend+whore

He was right. Blah. How pathetic! It's what you do on fb- well okay maybe not what YOU do on fb, but it's definitely what I did on fb!  The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one...right?  So I did, I knew that logging on to fb AT LEAST once an hour just to see what had happened and having over 1,500 fb friends was a slight issue.  I checked fb more than I checked online news sites.  As if (<--does this statement like totally take you back to clueless? no? Oh, it does for me...okay digression you are done) checking facebook updated me on what was happening and going on in the world INSTEAD of google news or cnn.  Really? Seriously? Yes, that is what it came to.

Ugh how lame!  I could have been one of those people on intervention!  I'd be the pathetic girl that was addicted to fb. Her family and friends would talk about her problem, how it affects them, and her life on a daily basis. People at home would sit and judge.  They'd text their friends and say "OMG this girl is totally a fb creeper on intervetion, thank god we aren't her." If you were wondering, I did just refer to myself in the third person, I'm def cool enough for that. You are, too. Alright, Morgan (see I did it again) stay on task with this post it's going to be a long one and you know people won't read the whole thing...

Okay so I knew I had a problem, time to fix it. I did about three of those infamous "fb friend overhauls" where I went through my list of friends and if I didn't recognize the name WITHOUT looking at the picture and couldn't think of how I knew them dum dum dum (that was a scary noise) they were cut, ghandi, out, got the ax.  Basically, we weren't friends.

This wasn't enough.  I went through and asked the questions "Are you really my friend? Would we call each other to hang out? Other than saying 'Hi, how are you' would I have more to say to you that wouldn't creep you out because you'd know the only way I knew it was because I creeped on you? And would I actually care 'how you were' when you answered, or would I just say it to be polite?"  This is where it got a little messy.  Turns out I am pretty f'n sweet (notice Mom and Dad how I abbreviated the naughty word...I don't actually cuss :) hee hee!), and when people lose my "fb friendship" their lives come crashing down. It's almost as if the world ends. Not much of a surprise to me, I'm amazing. I'd totally be friends with me!  So yeah, these people got a bit cantankerous!  They took it out in their fb statuses.  Can I just say that I HATED it when people put depressing statuses.  Really people? You look so pathetic and lame.  So yeah, they got muh-add at me.  This is when I knew...enough was enough.

Time to deactivate. When you go to deactivate your fb account they put three pictures of your friends up and say "Heather will miss you! Molly will miss you! Brian will miss you!"  Doesn't seem like such a big deal... EXCEPT remember how I went through and made sure all of my fb friends were actually my friends? Well the thought of those random three people missing me made me a little sad.  So I chickened out, but the next day I went ahead and just clicked REAL fast as to not even look and see who would miss me.  I thought to myself "okay if they really are your friends, they'll text you, you won't fall off the face of their earth just b/c you don't have fb". Eh...that was true with some people.

So that's where we are today. No facebook for me. Of course I do know my sister's password and from time to time she'll tell me of some pictures I should creep on. I allow myself this little indulgence sometimes, but not very often.  I really have no desire to creep on people and what they are doing anymore. So if you are doing something interesting or want me to know something, text me please!!

I no longer need or want fb anymore especially now that I have a blog! Fills up my down time, which was formerly set aside for creeping.  Some of my friends have blogs, too. So now I feel like even a bigger and better creeper.  I can creep on their thoughts, not just their little status updates!  Woo! Okay, I just creeped myself out.  I'm sure that's how stalkers and hardcore creepers feel, is that what I am? ugh. Hope not.

You should check out their blogs.  They are in my inner circle of amazing people, which means they be legit and so are their blogs!

http://enoughrightenoughleft.blogspot.com/
http://natemchugh.blogspot.com/

Creep on them, I'm sure they won't mind! I do, and I comment the crap out of their blogs (because I don't have fb anymore so I have nothing better to waste my time on ha). When more people get blogs, I'll let you know those, too.

Okay this was long, probably a bit uninteresting, and made me sound lame - I need to make myself sound cooler to you people!

Happy creeping, and please keep me informed of what's going on in the world (of facebook) and your world!