lyrically speaking

Do you ever stop and actually listen to the words of songs or just sing along without knowing what you are singing?  I do both. Well, I do the former after doing the latter and thinking 'hmmmm is that really what I think it means?'

I bring this up because I'm jamming out to a little Ace of Base right now. Yup. Total 90's jam session in my lovely, little cube on this frigid, Wednesday morning. So I'm all tapping my pen and moving my head to "all that she wants" - and if you were wondering, yes I feel very cool when I do this. I always thought the song was about a girl that wants to have more kids. Like maybe she meets guys with good qualities and therefore derives they must have good sperm. So she wants a baby then she's gone. Then it happened. I saw the sign (bahahahaha I crack myself up). I had an epiphany. The girl wants a baby as in a boy toy, then she's gone tomorrow. She doesn't want a kid! This song came out in 1993 and I just now (well about 19 minutes ago) realized what the song is actually about. Ha. Sweet life.

I remember going to the Mall of the Bluffs and getting my first CDs. I think this was probably in 1995, which would have made me 9. I was so excited to take them home and put them in my walkman (or was that for tapes?) or discman...whatever it was called.  I imagine I saved up Christmas or Birthday money to buy these all on my own.  I picked TLC's CrazySexyCool, which might I add is still a pretty f'n sweet CD, and Joan Osborne's Relish.  As soon as we got home my mom sat me down at the kitchen table and took out the little CD insert to talk to me about the songs. She was THOROUGHLY impressed by the images of T-Boz, Left Eye and Chili naked and only their private parts being covered by burlap sacks. I told her Waterfalls was my favorite song in the entire world (at the moment, of course). So she asked me what it was about because I clearly knew all the words. I remember looking at her blankly and thinking 'wow you are so dumb mom!' I replied in a snotty and slightly bratty tone "um waterfalls, duh!"  BUZZZZZZ wrong. She read the lyrics line by line and explained the song was about a drug dealer and someone that had AIDS and they both died. So I was a little off thinking it was about going on vacation and seeing pretty waterfalls. Thanks Mom. 

This summer I rediscovered Eazy-E's Gimme That Nutt. To my surprise, I still remembered most of the words. As I was driving home one day jamming out and singing, ahem rapping, a little too loudly with the windows down, I realized what I was actually saying. Perhaps I would be wise to know the meaning behind the words I say. Not such a big deal now, but in sixth grade my friends and I thought this was the coolest song ever. Not so sure at sixth grade my friends and I should have been talking about all that business! I hadn't even open mouth kissed a boy at that point!! I was wise beyond my year's...or something like that... 

Okay, back to work.

In which we discover: I have no self-control.

Literally. No self-control. None at all. Let me explain.  I'm not Catholic, but I thought with so many people around me giving things up for Lent I would give it a try as well.  That lasted all of....two days.

I wanted to give up candy. If you know me you know how incredibly hard this was going to be. I eat candy not only on a daily basis but rather a 12 hour basis. I need candy everyday - multiple times day. Love it so much. Well, turns out you can get diabetes at any point in your life. Maybe I am really naive, but I thought you were born with diabetes and that was that. Turns out that isn't so much the case. I had no idea that by eating too much sugar you could develop it (among many other causes). Not cool. I do not know how I don't have more cavities, weigh 30 more pounds, or have diabetes already. It made sense to cut back on candy, and Let was the most opportune time to do it.

Wishful thinking. No such luck.  I had great intentions, and I was actually a little excited for this challenge. Challenge, consider yourself victorious in this little bout. I have been conquered by the sugary goodness and lack of self-control. I've already had at least three cups of m&ms (yup thats right, not packages or handfuls: CUPS), a bag of cherry Twizzler nibs, two candy necklaces, one package of orange crazy core Skittles, six Hershey's kisses, two cherry blow-pops, a watermelon push pop, and five chocolate covered cherries. I've managed to consume that much candy since Thursday.....It's only Monday if you weren't aware. Most of it was eaten yesterday, too. Biggest Loser, here I come.

Holy moly. It doesn't seem like that much candy while I'm eating it, but when I type it all out like that...sounds real bad!  I have no self-control. If candy is around it is eaten.

If you gave something up for Lent - I wish you luck. I also admire you for your self-control.  Spending money and candy are my vices. Maybe someday I'll get some control, but in the meantime oh well!

Good luck to you.

ps - What's your secret??

windshield washer fluid, oh how I love thee

*Warning: this post is going to be fairly lame, but at this point you should not be surprised.  I have embraced my lame, which makes me kind of cool for knowing and liking that I'm lame.  Although thinking I am cool is a little lame and makes me less cool. Hmmm... The pickle I am in.  Anyways, yeah I am obsessed with windshield washer fluid, so you can imagine how interesting this post is going to be.  Continue reading if you kind of like my lame factor, too, and you want to learn about my obsession.

So a lot of things about winter really suck. The bad roads, getting the slushy snow/salt mix on the bottom of your pants, not being able to do stuff outside, the weather ruining plans among many others.  On the flip side, there are a lot of thing about winter that are pretty awesome: my birthday (insert woo here please), Christmas, sweat pants and hoodies are not only acceptable but encouraged, hot chocolate, snow days, how pretty the trees look covered in snow, and the opportunity to use windshield washer fluid at least once every five minutes.

I. Love. Windshield. Washer. Fluid. Seriously. Love. Love. Love. Love. It. If you were wondering, the periods add emphasis and style.  Sure you can use washer fluid all year round, but never do you ever get the mass amounts of opportunities to push that little button and watch the magic happen. Swish, swish goes the blue stuff, and my windshield is clean!

I think it is fun to push buttons, and I think it's fun to wash windows. That plus that equal AMAZING. Now, I will attempt to transition into an analogy I use when I talk to myself, because I do that...a lot. I have friends and family that are the washer fluid to my windshield I call life. Hallmark is totally going to jump all over that and make a card out of it! Sometimes I feel like I could use washer fluid in my everyday life, not just in my car.  Things get messy, blurry and I don't always know where I'm going.  I think we can all use some clarity from time to time, or at least I hope we all can and I'm not alone in this!

More and more I've learned that you need people like this in your life - to help you find your way, show you a path and give you some clarity on what's going on.  Lately, I have been only surrounding myself with people that are a positive influence in my life - big or small, day to day or in the big picture.  These people help me get where I'm going and I think I can help them get where they are going. Life is too short not to be happy all of the time, and with that comes surrounding yourself with people that make you genuinely happy.  I'm talking about the kind of happy that you don't have to fake, it's there and it makes your heart smile.  Just like washer fluid.

So to you, those people in my life that are like washer fluid, thank you. In the spirit of Valentine's Day, which I will more than likely be blogging about how stupid that day is, I love you all. You bring me clarity and make me smile.

Not such a bad analogy, huh? Nope, pretty good if I do say so myself.

My name is Morgan, and I am a creeper.

Ahem, my name is Morgan, and I am a RECOVERING creeper.

Let me clarify...again (third time's a charm), my name is Morgan, and I am a recovering fb creeper.

I remember the day it began, sitting in my Sandoz dorm room with my friends, eating our easy mac and wondering "what is this facebook site?".  That was in 2004, which seems SO long ago.  I was an fb creeper in all senses of the word. I creeped on pictures, about me sections, status updates, who was friends with who, and definitely clicked "wall-to-wall" about a bajillion times a day. I hate spelling errors. Is it bajillion or bagillion? They both have the little red squiggly line that means "Morgan,  you idiot, that isn't how you spell that! FIX IT!" Hmm.... let's allow both spellings for the sake of this post.

I creeped (ps creeped isn't a word either..hmmmm get with it spell checker!) on friends, I creeped on friends of friends, I creeped on the guy who sat three rows in front of me in classes - and usually I'd add him b/c we saw each other every MWF at 9:30 for 50 minutes, which made us friends... right? Ha. Depends who you ask.  One of my friends would tell you this made me a "friend whore".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friend+whore

He was right. Blah. How pathetic! It's what you do on fb- well okay maybe not what YOU do on fb, but it's definitely what I did on fb!  The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one...right?  So I did, I knew that logging on to fb AT LEAST once an hour just to see what had happened and having over 1,500 fb friends was a slight issue.  I checked fb more than I checked online news sites.  As if (<--does this statement like totally take you back to clueless? no? Oh, it does for me...okay digression you are done) checking facebook updated me on what was happening and going on in the world INSTEAD of google news or cnn.  Really? Seriously? Yes, that is what it came to.

Ugh how lame!  I could have been one of those people on intervention!  I'd be the pathetic girl that was addicted to fb. Her family and friends would talk about her problem, how it affects them, and her life on a daily basis. People at home would sit and judge.  They'd text their friends and say "OMG this girl is totally a fb creeper on intervetion, thank god we aren't her." If you were wondering, I did just refer to myself in the third person, I'm def cool enough for that. You are, too. Alright, Morgan (see I did it again) stay on task with this post it's going to be a long one and you know people won't read the whole thing...

Okay so I knew I had a problem, time to fix it. I did about three of those infamous "fb friend overhauls" where I went through my list of friends and if I didn't recognize the name WITHOUT looking at the picture and couldn't think of how I knew them dum dum dum (that was a scary noise) they were cut, ghandi, out, got the ax.  Basically, we weren't friends.

This wasn't enough.  I went through and asked the questions "Are you really my friend? Would we call each other to hang out? Other than saying 'Hi, how are you' would I have more to say to you that wouldn't creep you out because you'd know the only way I knew it was because I creeped on you? And would I actually care 'how you were' when you answered, or would I just say it to be polite?"  This is where it got a little messy.  Turns out I am pretty f'n sweet (notice Mom and Dad how I abbreviated the naughty word...I don't actually cuss :) hee hee!), and when people lose my "fb friendship" their lives come crashing down. It's almost as if the world ends. Not much of a surprise to me, I'm amazing. I'd totally be friends with me!  So yeah, these people got a bit cantankerous!  They took it out in their fb statuses.  Can I just say that I HATED it when people put depressing statuses.  Really people? You look so pathetic and lame.  So yeah, they got muh-add at me.  This is when I knew...enough was enough.

Time to deactivate. When you go to deactivate your fb account they put three pictures of your friends up and say "Heather will miss you! Molly will miss you! Brian will miss you!"  Doesn't seem like such a big deal... EXCEPT remember how I went through and made sure all of my fb friends were actually my friends? Well the thought of those random three people missing me made me a little sad.  So I chickened out, but the next day I went ahead and just clicked REAL fast as to not even look and see who would miss me.  I thought to myself "okay if they really are your friends, they'll text you, you won't fall off the face of their earth just b/c you don't have fb". Eh...that was true with some people.

So that's where we are today. No facebook for me. Of course I do know my sister's password and from time to time she'll tell me of some pictures I should creep on. I allow myself this little indulgence sometimes, but not very often.  I really have no desire to creep on people and what they are doing anymore. So if you are doing something interesting or want me to know something, text me please!!

I no longer need or want fb anymore especially now that I have a blog! Fills up my down time, which was formerly set aside for creeping.  Some of my friends have blogs, too. So now I feel like even a bigger and better creeper.  I can creep on their thoughts, not just their little status updates!  Woo! Okay, I just creeped myself out.  I'm sure that's how stalkers and hardcore creepers feel, is that what I am? ugh. Hope not.

You should check out their blogs.  They are in my inner circle of amazing people, which means they be legit and so are their blogs!

http://enoughrightenoughleft.blogspot.com/
http://natemchugh.blogspot.com/

Creep on them, I'm sure they won't mind! I do, and I comment the crap out of their blogs (because I don't have fb anymore so I have nothing better to waste my time on ha). When more people get blogs, I'll let you know those, too.

Okay this was long, probably a bit uninteresting, and made me sound lame - I need to make myself sound cooler to you people!

Happy creeping, and please keep me informed of what's going on in the world (of facebook) and your world!

my favorite day in school

In elementary, my favorite day in school was ALWAYS Valentine's day. What's not to love? I LOVED making a Valentine's Day box for my friends and classmates to fill with my favorite thing in the world - CANDY!  I remember my Valentine's Day box in 3rd grade; it was hard core. I'm not talking a little shoe box with construction paper hearts all over it; I'm talking hard. core. (the periods add emphasis - just an fyi) It was a robot! Oh man it was SO cool, I remember covering it in tinfoil and it had little heart eyes.  I had the best V-Day box in the class and then one girl who lived down the street, Laura, copied it. Ugh. Still makes me mad!  I bet she is still really chubby, too. Okay I'm not as bitter as I seem...or maybe I am...just a little.

In junior high and high school, once I moved to Nebraska, my favorite day was Bus Evacuation Day.  I never rode a bus in Iowa so this was pretty cool to get to do when we moved (yes I am that lame...I thought riding a school bus was fun and it was even more fun to learn how to evacuate the bus. Don't I get a few cool points for acknowledging and embracing my lameness? Yes, I feel as though I do...Okay let's continue).  I have no idea why I liked Bus Evacuation Day so much.  It took about 30 minutes and we got out of a class to go sit on the bus and learn about safety and how to get out of the bus in an emergency.  I think I liked this so much because: 

1. We got out of class. Duh. Always a good thing.

2. When we were getting on a bus another class was getting off, so that meant the older cute boys would see me.  Okay, that is kind of a lame reason. There were barely 100 people in my entire high school so pretty sure everyone saw everyone in our teeny little school with one main hallway.

3. We got to sit on the bus and if you were lucky, a boy would sit with you!  Cool kids in the back! It was always coolest to sit in the back. Everyone knows how to exit the front of the bus, but if you were sitting in back you got to exit the emergency exit, which for some reason excited me.

Okay, basically we can all come to the conclusion that I am entertained quite easily and I am fairly lame.

In college, my favorite day in school was always the day after the super bowl.  I was an Advertising major, which meant in every single advertising course we talked about the ads.  How great is that? Fifty minutes devoted to discussing television.  Not boring television either, the good, new and usually funny commercials.  I actually learned in these classes. I loved group discussions where we could talk about what worked and didn't work, how they could have reached the target audience more, which ads would resonate sales and which would be a complete flop. 

Well I'm not in college anymore, so I don't get to do this. Sad. Wait not so fast...I have an idea! This post is going to be devoted to the ads (as well as my lame stories of shoe box robots and sitting on a bus listen to the overweight bus driver tell us not to be to loud and stay seated).

I was a little unimpressed with some of the ads this year, but I did have some favorites.

As a whole, I thought Hyudai (woo sonatas!), Doritos, Coke and Bud Light did the best this year.

I really liked Doritos' first two commercials - the one with the little boy that slapped the guy and said "leave yo hands off my mama and leave yo hands off my Doritos!".  The commercial with the dog and the shock collar was clever, too.

Budlight had a TON of commercials this year, holy big budget!  The asteroid one was my favorite.  The house made of beer and the bridge one were kind of funny as well. 

Hyundai's Brett Favre commercial was really good. In my expert opinion, yes I am an advertising expert - and I have the oh so expensive piece paper to prove it, this was one of the best commercials. It was clever, funny, and perfect for the target audience.

I really liked the Griswold's commercial. This was for some homeaway.com thing, which I've never heard of. I'm biased just because the National Lampoon's Vacation movies are my favorite. It was great to see Beverly and Chevy, ahem I mean Sparky and Ellen.

Google's "French Love Story" was a pretty good commercial, too. I love google, and I google the crap out of anything and everything so I thought this was good.  I even liked that they spelled the Louvre/Louve wrong!

Finally, the Betty White Snickers commercial. I laughed the hardest at this one. Betty White is awesome. Snickers are awesome. This was great. Loved it.

I didn't like the Tim Tebow commercial - it was WAY too cheesy. It was lame...like real lame.  The commercial got a lot of hype before the commercial so I knew what it was going to be about, but had it not the message wouldn't have been very clear. The lameness distracted me too. Timmy and his mom need to focus on things other than a television career.  I didn't like the Doritos coffin commercial. This one was fairly creepy and just weird.  I'm tired of godaddy.com commercials, too. Blah.


I think it will be interesting to see if Dove's new body wash for men has a surge in sales. Clever commercial, in my opinion, but I'm not so sure a guy would like to buy "dove" soap. We'll see. More times than not, the ladies do the shopping anyways!

Okay, I have rambled a lot, which is no surprise, but I want to know what you guys thought about the commercials!  

Happy day after the Super Bowl, and hope you aren't all too hungover to comment!